I just need to pee..

MOTHERS!!!  Do you ever want to throw your hands up in the air and say I GIVE UP!!!

Of course you do.  I have seen the movie “Bad Moms”.  I have seen the way the crowd reacts when, Mila Kunis, gives up.  We have ALL been there.  All the job pressures, Mom pressures, wife pressures and just being a person pressures..

You throw one more thing in the mix and it all begins to ToPPLE and we are ready to give up.  Why?  Because this is impossible to keep up for any length of time.

Let me share with you my most recent ToPPLING..

baby bear wasn’t feeling well. She is constipated.. I had to contact her dr and see when she can be seen..

Can you bring her in right now?” They asked
“Nope, I am not even WITH her right now… I am at work.  I work til 5pm.  Do you have anything like 5:30?”
“We have a 4:45pm.. And just so you know the dr is going on vacation starting tomorrow, so this is really the ONLY appt we have left this month to offer..”
THE PRESSURE!!  Ok, so I am scrambling in my brain to see how this all will work.  Moved meetings, talked to my boss.. whoops forgot tickets for the show tonight @ 7pm with me and the hubby..  This is gonna be cutting it close!!!

I zoomed (past tense of zoom??  Zam?) in my rocket @ 4:15 to get home to grab the baby bear and zoomed to the dr. office  ZOOOOOOM
I hit traffic… NOOOOOO  This couldn’t be happening to my PERFECT, no flawed plan!!!  But yup, dead stand still 10 minutes from the dr office.. Construction they had just started THAT day.. How could I have planned for that??  I called the Dr office and tell them I am running late.. Describe said construction, hoped for sympathy…  The receptionist seemed to buy it.  She will mark my chart!  She said please keep coming, we will wait for you!

I get there and TRY and get a sick 7 year old pokey puppy out of the car and into the building and up the stairs and down the hall(seriously??) where this receptionist tells me I HAVE MISSED MY APPT…  but I called!!!  She doesn’t see any note..

“I can show you my phone call log.”  Really has it come to this??  The Dr is not a movie star.. I had an appt.  I am slightly late (15 minutes YIKES!) and I planned on paying her.  She works for me darn it!  And I have waited more than 15 minutes to see her before…  She wagged her finger at me and lectured me on the importance of punctuality all the while I nodded and smiled but in my head I am trying to figure when was the last time I went to the bathroom cuz I feel like I am gonna explode!!!  Drink more water, they say!!  This is a stupid idea for women on the go.. That’s what I get for trying to be healthy..
Finally, the dr agreed not to punish my small helpless baby bear for her mother’s evil and indefensible acts and saw her.  They ran tests.. we waited for results… I still have to pee..
They diagnosed her, give me instructions and tell me to call in a few days if she isn’t better… I grabbed my daughter and flew down the hall, down the stairs, out the door, through the parking lot back to my rocket where we ZOOOMED home.
6:15 this gave me approximately zero time to get ready to go out tonight.  Luckily I planned my outfit in the car!! I ran around the house naked as I grabbed select pieces for my outfit, apply mascara while screaming “DOES EVERYONE HAVE THEIR SHOES ON????”
Loaded everyone in the rocket, ZOOOOMED to the babysitter’s. Kissed the children while the rocket idled and ZOOOMED off to the concert.  Get to our seats at roughly 7:25 breathe a sigh of relief…and realize I still have to PEE.  Held it for entire concert while gazing lovingly at husband..

2 days later, daughter is still not feeling well and the Dr on call (remember her Dr is on VACA ..lucky duck)  would like to see her …..  Am I a horrible person for saying no?  Can we come to some agreement over a treatment plan over the phone?  Like, I. can’t.  It doesn’t fit again in my schedule this week.  I still have yet to find time to pee…. I love baby bear more than pizza, but I have work problems, and wife obligations and personal issues that I have yet to even think about yet this week..

And I want to scream. I GIVE UP!!  Cuz that lady on the phone.. she is judging me.  You can’t find time to bring your sick daughter in to see the dr???

The moral of the story.. all you single people without kids.  If you have friends with kids, go to them, be with them, offer assistance  AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD watch their kids for a minute so they can go to the bathroom!!!



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