Parenting is so not fun

I remember vividly telling my mother that I was going to be a mom.  It was on Mother’s Day 14 years ago (WOW, is that possible? Apparently, I got pregnant when I was 6).
I was SO excited. I was about to have my first child, I was head over heels in love with the father of my baby and ignoring ALL the red flags about what a bad choice he was.
My mother looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, ” Well you have officially ruined your life.  Your life is over.  Everything you have dreamt of accomplishing is over.  Time to focus on someone else for the rest of your life…”
At the time, I thought she was being over dramatic and kinda rude…  And then I figured my sisters and brother must have really messed her up and she was quite bitter about it.
Flash forward 6 years, and I found myself in the same predicament.  I sat down with my mother and told her I was gonna have a little girl.  She said, “well, now you have two.  One of each and they don’t come in any more kinds, so no need to keep trying…”
Before you judge my mother, know she was an awesome mom.  Not perfect by any means, but still very awesome.  She taught me everything I know.
And what I know is being a mom isn’t fun.  It is hardwork.  My children are a blessing and I am honored that God chose me to be their guide through this crazy journey.  But the journey isn’t fun.  It has been FUNNY at times, like when my son put his underwear on his head and danced around when he was little, but mostly you aren’t allowed to talk about those times because they are SO EMBARRASSING MOM!!!
Motherhood is not for the weak.  I did give up many of my childhood dreams to take care of their needs.  College has been put on the back burner so many times, because of lack of sleep, or time with them, or because I always had to work full time to fill their bottomless stomachs.  I wanted to move to the coast and be near the ocean, but once you have kids you are tied to another person for 18 years and cant make most of your own decisions anymore.
Nobody tells you that kids grow out of their clothes every season.  Every season replacing every outfit and shoe they own, and girls need dozens.  Black dress shoes, brown dress shoes, sneakers, boots, rain boots, snow boots, flip flops, sandals, no toes sandals…
Nobody told me that there would be days that you just cry because you literally have to be in two places at once.  Why is her drum concert in the middle of the day??  I don’t have vacation days left because I used them all through the flu season.
Being a single parent is even harder.  When the other parent walks away and wants to live their own life and stop back every once and awhile and enjoy the wonderful children you are growing, it is hard not to be angry.
When your ex isn’t supportive of emotionally raising healthy kids, it is even harder..
When my ex decided he didn’t want to pay daycare one month because I had said something disrespectful, I had to sell my kitchen table so I could continuing to have daycare to go to work.
Parenting doesn’t get easier either.  My son has now hit 13 and doesn’t feel I have anything to teach him or offer him other that a sandwich (or 3) and a new I-phone.  He still needs new clothes every season but he isn’t dancing around with underwear on his head anymore..  He isn’t really putting in as much effort into this relationship as I am.
I ran into someone today and we talked about our children.  He said he had 5 kids, and instantly out of my mouth came, “I am so sorry.”  He laughed because he knew what I meant and what my mom meant all those years ago.  Having kids isn’t fun, it is a huge  job with lil to no pay and no vacation days.  Wouldn’t change my choice to have kids if you offered it to me but wish I would accomplished more of my dreams first.  Because they all went in the backseat when I saw their beautiful brown eyes twinkle at me for the first time.
I hope they don’t need to know about the sacrifices I gave up for them.  But I sometimes think what will I tell them when they tell me they are going to have a lil one of their own?


2 thoughts on “Parenting is so not fun

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